Our awesome teammates sent a note recently on FB...thought those if you who still read our blog might find it as challenging as we did!
"Life can often be a real struggle. Lately, for us, life is making us very tired. B is out every day either sharing the gospel for a few hours, having meetings, or doing coaching with the church planters here. By the end of the day, he's really exhausted from the heat and having to be 'on his game' relationally. For K, she is finding herself at home with an increasingly difficult (but still a joy!) 2 1/2 year old and a growing 16lb 6 month old. She's often falling asleep at 8pm. In addition, there are the unique challenges of living in a different culture (even though, after 5 years, many things have become quite normal) and the spiritual attacks that have increased since we've been back (weariness, unexplainable sickness, and emotional stress). So, it is really easy after the kids are down to think, "Now, its time for ME! I've earned rest and relaxation."
However, God has been working on us lately to really examine that common desire to see if it is really true. We often think that TV, Facebook, or other such things will give us rest. Meaning, after we do those things, we will be re-energized to engage in the hard work of ministry and raising kids - which requires grace, humility, and purity. It didn't take long to realize that those activities were not, and would not, ultimately give us the rest we needed. For instance, on a typical day reading through our Facebook updates, I might read an update that makes me feel sorry for myself or feel envy because I didn't get a brand new gadget or household appliance because I don't have the money or it's not available over here. But depending on the day, that same post might make me feel proud and arrogant, because I've sacrificed so much and that person hasn't. Or, I might read a news article or a political opinion that makes me angry...etc, etc, etc. And then while simply browsing the internet or watching a DVD of a show we brought over here, we might be exposed to all sorts of things haphazardly, like: clothes we want, music we want, kids toys that we want, a music video that has a little too much skin in it, or a scene in a show of people about to have sex (which opens a whole new door or thoughts and struggles).
Whew! Does any of that seem restful? Instead of being re-energized to love our family sacrificially and give our children grace-filled words instead emotional and angry words, we instead have let things into our hearts that will put us on edge and will require some serious prayer to put behind us. You see, we're learning that the spirit of indulgence that we feel when tired, is just another thing that is evidence of being tired (like our body feeling tired, being a little bit more emotional than usual, or losing sight of real perspective). However, it is extremely difficult to teach ourselves how to deal with this.
We are just beginning to see that when we indulge (with internet, food, TV, etc), we are no more well rested than we were before those activities. And we are beginning to learn that when we take that free moment to read the Bible and center our hearts on our deep, deep need for Jesus' Spirit to meet us and guide us, we are much more fun to be around, much more joyful, and much more in control of our actions, our thoughts, and our words. And that is what we really need to be good parents, spouses, and pleasing workers for our King.
It really is true, when Jesus says, "Come to me all you weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28)
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